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  • Writer's pictureBev Martin

Way Back Into Love

Way Back Into Love

29 April 2021

Ah the sweet sweet scent of freedom in the air as restrictions are lifting and life as we loved it slowly returns! Or is it the smell of excitement from the queues camping outside Primark ready to clear out the whole store and make up after the months of deprivation!? Now I’ll be honest with you as much as I like a cosy sock there is not a chance in this dimension or any other one am I getting involved in that madness. IKEA on the other hand...... how I’ve missed you my beautiful happy place. Still not enough to face the early days massive queues but ya get the idea. I do look forward to having a good mooch around some of my favourite stores. What do you look forward to the most as we see the majority or industries come back into action?? Hairdressing is my main gig. I’m at it around twenty two years now. That doesn’t make me feel old at all..... This week, twenty one years ago I moved to Belfast. Nineteen years of age. Not a clue what I was at, but doing pretty good at winging it. Great job with amazing training (Toni&Guy) and a bright future. Yet I was totally lost. Thankfully the paths we choose are always just as they are meant to be so although I took many many detours I did eventually find my way back into love. Life had thrown many curveballs, loss, grief, abandonment, darkness. I was about to walk down one of darkest paths in life but as we all know after the dark there will always be light. Trapped in the past I just can’t seem to move on! Light and love. Despite the fear, the guilt and shame I was about to go through I would always find my way back into Love. I went back to work last Friday. I am amazed I can even string a sentence together as it has been sooooooo busy. Lockdown roots are real!! I had a young teenage girl in. I’ve done her hair and makeup quite a few times now and I adore her. She randomly asked me did I believe in crystals and stuff! When I said yes of course I do we had an amazing conversation about the universe and all sorts. She said she finds it’s difficult to find people who don’t think she’s nuts! I welcomed her to my world and told her we would get into more detail when she is eighteen!! Honestly though she blew me away with how awake she is and how she understood our conversation. I quickly realized when we discussed how there’s so much more to the world than what we see with our eyes, and how energy can not be destroyed so we can’t just die!!!!(her words) ....... that she knows this because she feels it. And that is what it is all about. I told her she is on a beautiful path and to just trust. She will find her tribe. Everything is perfect. I also told her I wished I had had the awareness she has at her age. Fourteen, I was up to my eyes is grief anger and resentment. When I recently read a poem I wrote at sixteen I could see how my soul was trying to guide me. I just wasn’t ready yet then. We live our lives. We experience whatever comes our way. The good the bad and the ugly. We often spend our lives looking for something. Striving for something. Craving something. We will be happy when.... or we will be able when..... Feeling lost. Well here’s the thing guys, there is no when. We live life to simply live. To love. To simply experience. The good the bad and the beautiful. Now. Only now. I meant what I told you in previous posts, yesterday, or the past is just a memory. Tomorrow, the future is a fantasy. Never promised. Grab now by the shirt and curlies and enjoy!!! You can travel to the ends of the earth searching seeking to find what? Happiness? Love? The only place you are really going to find it is within yourself, and it will not matter if you are climbing Everest, diving in Egypt or curled up in your own bed. Sometimes the most difficult place to go to is into yourself and yet there is where you will find what you are seeking. Find the way back to yourself and the way back into love. So as much as I will enjoy a mooch around IKEA (I can’t lie the bargain corner actually give me butterflies lol) if some magical fortune teller whispered in my ear I would never see IKEA again would I care? No. Cause right now I am here writing this and everything is perfect! The only thing that tickles me more in life than a good old contradiction is some cheese, in the forms of music and movies. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore were in a total cheese fest called Music & Lyrics, Hugh sang/warbled a duet called Way back into Love and for some reason the words touched my soul a long time ago. Like a little sneaky love song to myself. Not every line works but have a listen if you can take the cringe. Watch the film actually, my guilty pleasures are no longer secret but I promise not to tell anyone about yours!

lots of love, Bev xxx

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